Blood Relation me shaadiya kaha hoti hai

Wife : Agar meri shaadi kisi " Raakshas" se bhi ho jaati to mai itni Pareshaan nahi hoti jitni tumare saath hu

Awesome reply :

Husband : Are pagli,,
Blood Relation me shaadiya kaha hoti hai.. !!!

Don't laugh alone pass it on.....

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Jaldbaazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge

Arz kiya hai..

Jaldbaazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge,

wah wah wah

Jaldbazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge..

Soch samaj ke karoge toh bhi kya ukhad loge..!!

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Shakespears Wife

'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."

-Shakespear

"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten ur Life."

-Shakespear's Wife

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Computer is not working as per my command

Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.

Husband: Exactly darling!  its a computer, not a Husband..!!

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Definition of Happy Couple

HE Does What SHE Wants…

SHE Does What SHE Wants.

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What is Marriage

MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense Of Humans

That Destroys All The Six Senses

And Makes The Person NON Sense..!

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Meri shadi kyun nahi ho rahi hai

Ek Aadmi Jyotish se,: Meri shadi kyun nahi ho rahi hai?

Jyotish:  kaise hogi pagley? Kundli me sukh hi sukh likha hai!!!

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Two types of suicide

There are two types of suicide ( Fast & Slow ).

Fast: Gale me rassi dalo and latak jao.

Slow: Gale me warmala dalo aur zindagi bhar latke raho.

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Ye Saala Rahul Gandhi Kaun Hai

A donkey goes to GUINNESS BOOK OFFICE to check,

If He's Still The Most Stupid Animal on Earth Or Not??
He Came Out Angrily Shouting-..
Ye Saala ......Rahul Gandhi Kaun Hai !!!

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Meaning of tamso maa jyotirgamaya

Sanskrit teacher :

What is the meaning of
'tamso maa jyotirgamaya.'

Santa said :
'tu so ja maa,
main jyoti ke ghar ja raha hoon' 

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English da Siyapaaaa

English da Siyapaaaa !!!

In train, a woman slept at Santa's son's place & refused 2 get up.
Santa went to TC & complained:
THIS LADY IS NOT GIVING BIRTH TO MY CHILD.

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Aaj hamare Pintoo ne aadha word bolna seekha

Punjabi : Sunti ho

Aaj hamare Pintoo ne aadha word bolna seekha

Punjaban: Sach!! Kya bola?

Punjabi : "BEHAN"

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What is the Fastest thing in the World

4 Students:
1 of HARVARD
1 of OXFORD
1 of TEXAS
&
Santa Singh of PUNJAB UNIVERSITY...

1 Common Question:-

"What is the Fastest thing in the World?"

Student of HARVARD: "Light"

Student of OXFORD: "Thought"

Student of TEXAS:
"Blink of an Eye"

SANTA SINGH of PUNJAB UNIVERSITY:
"Loose Motion!"

Because

Last Night I Was Lying On My Bed & Before I Could "Blink", "Think" or "Turn on the Light",,
It was all Over...

Harvard / Oxford / Texas Shocked .... Punjab Rocked...!!!

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Insaan Duniya me 3 Chizo k liye mehnat

Insaan Duniya me 3 Chizo k liye mehnat

karta Hai:
1-Mera Naam Uncha Ho.
2-Mera libas Achcha Ho.
3-Mera Makaan Khubsurat Ho..
LEKIN. .Insan k marte hi BHAGVAN uski 3
chizee Subse pahley Badal Deta Hai:
1Naam. [Swargiya]
2-Libaas. [Kafan]
3Makaan. [Samshan]
A silent msg but we don't  Realize

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Agar Computer System Punjabi Mai Hota

Agar Computer System Punjabi Mai Hota To kuch KEYS ya MESSAGES k naam iss prakaar hote:

Welcome :   Jee ayaa nu.

Ok :   Ahoo.

Insert:   Paao

Send:   Sutto

Download:   Thalle laao

Delete:    Mitti paao

Search:    Labbo

Run:   Nasso

Syntax Error:  Durr fitte moo

Ctrl+Alt+Del:   Sayaapa hi  Mukaoo

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Two Girlzz Were Playing Chess

Two girlzz were playing chess
(joke doesn't end here).

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.
girl 1- Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak rahe hai.
.
girl 2: Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda.
.
.
The joke doesn't end here either
.
.
.
Phir waha ek ladka aata hai.
.
Boy: Chalo girlzz, chess khelate hai.
both girlzz: Nahi, tum to hume aasanise hara doge.
.
.
.
Boy: Chalo yaar. Tum dono aur mai akela.
.
both girl: Phir bhi hum haar jayenge
.
Boy :Okay, main left hand se khelunga.
.
.
.
both girlzz:
Haan. yupee Phir thik hai...The joke still doesn't end.
.
.
.
Dono obviously haar jate hai aur ladka whan se chala jata hai.
.
girl 1:Badi sharmanaak baat hai, yaar. Left hand se bhi hara diya usne.
girll 2 (thoda sochne k baad ): Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.
.
.
.
girl1: Kaise?
girl 2: Wo lefty hi hoga.....

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Hum thode bewafa kya huye aap to bachalan ho gaye

Today when I was buying Top Ramen noodles....
The atma of Maggi noodles appeared before me and whispered.....
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Waah ji waah
Hum thode bewafa kya huye.
Aap to bachalan ho gaye

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Same as Above

Serious Joke of the Day..

Height of Cost Cutting:

Baniye ne ghar ke upar wale hisse mai paint kiya aur baaki bache hisse mai likh diya,
"Same as Above"...........!!!!

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Wife casually calls husband

Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon

Husband: Hi, kaisi ho

Wife: Theek hun

Husband: Aaj kya khaya lunch mein

Wife: Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya,
kaun sa serial dekha,
kaun sa song suna

Husband: Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how should RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets ??

Wife: (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha...

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Where were you born

Boss: Where were you born? Santa: India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India...

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KHANE mein koi zeher dal de

खाने में कोई 'ज़हर' घोल दे तो
एक बार उसका 'इलाज' है.....

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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लेकिन,

'कान' में कोई 'ज़हर' घोल दे तो,
उसका कोई 'इलाज' नहीं है

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Seven Complicated Facts About Women

Seven complicated facts about Women:
1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don't believe them if complimented.

Extremely Complicated!

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Return to Normal Life After Mothers Day

Chahe sara jag rooth jaye mujhe uski parwah nahi.. bus meri Maa

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.
.
Ki bhu nhi ruthni chahiye..

Return to normal life after #mothersday

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Itna Khubsurat Ghar Kaise Banaya

Ek Mantri USA Gaya To Meet His

Politician Friend

Uska Ghar Bahot Khubsurat Tha.

Indian : Itna Khubsurat Ghar Kaise Banaya?
American: Wo Samne Bridge Nazar Aa Raha Hai ?
Indian : Haan
American: Uska 10% Apni Jeb Me...!!

Phir American India Aya To Hairaan Reh Gaya,
K Indian Ka Ghar Us Se Bhi Zada Khubsurat Hai

American: Tum Ne Kaise Banaya Itna Khubsurat Ghar??
Indian : Wo Samne Bridge Nazar Aa Raha Hai??
American: Nahi

Indian :Hahahahhahahahahahaha

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Haryanvi Love Story

Ek ladka ek ladki ko red rose deta h tab ladki bahut sharmate hue kehti hai..
     







Na yo ni lendi mai.yo to lagre mhare ghRaaa

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What is love and explain in details

English   paper for 12th class

Question :-What is love and explain in details ?   ( 20 marks)

Answer:

USA's Student.......
Answer: Love is life.

(marks :  5  out  of  20 )

UK's Student......
Answer : Love is pain.

( marks : 5 out  of  20 )

UAE's Student......
Answer : Love  Khuda   hai.

( marks : 5 out  of  20 )



Indian Student........
Answer :
.
.
.
.
.

- Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated

- TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided

- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers but nowadays can be found in any age

- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction

- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile

- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or
Mother's Sandal......

(marks  20  out  of  20 )

Excellent !!

NOTE :-
Don't ask Indian students ,
They can stretch any thing for 20  marks !

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Khatarnak Biwi

Biwi: Zara Kitchen se Namak lete aana....!
Bechara pati : Yahaan toh koi Namak nahi hai..!
Biwi : He bhagwan,
Mere baap ko tumhare jaisa hi Soordas milna
tha.
Mujhe pata tha..!
Tum toh ho hi Andhe..!
Kaamchor ho..!
Nikamme ho....!
Gadhe ho.....!
Ek kam dhang se nahi ker sakte..!
Bas bahaane banaate ho..!
Jindagi mey kuch to kam karo...!
Tumhe nahin milega, Isliye pehle hi le aayi thi..!
Husband shocked..!

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Village love story

Ek ladka ek ladki ko red rose deta h tab ladki bahut sharmate hue kehti hai..
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Na yo ni lendi mai.yo to lagre mhare ghRaaa

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Indian Students Love Definition

Question :-What is love and explain in details ?   ( 20 marks)

Answer:

USA's Student.......
Answer: Love is life.  (marks :  5  out  of  20 )

UK's Student......
Answer : Love is pain.  ( marks : 5 out  of  20 )

UAE's Student......
Answer : Love  Khuda   hai.  ( marks : 5 out  of  20 )

Indian Student........
Answer :

- Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated

- TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided

- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers but now a days can be found in any age

- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction

- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile

- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or
Mother's Sandal......

(marks  20  out  of  20 )

Excellent !!

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Apni Hi Behen Ko Romantic SMS Bhej Rha Hai

Mere 1 Friend Ne Mere Phone Se Meri GF Ka Number Chura Liya!
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Friend : Toh Fir..
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Boy : Paagal Kal Se Apni Hi Behen Ko Romantic SMS Bhej Rha Hai...

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Exercise Is Hell Just Sleep Well

A Rabbit Runs, Jumps & Lives Only For 15 yrs.

While a Turtle Doesn't Run, Does Nothing.
Yet lives for 300 yrs.

Moral:

Exercise Is Hell, Just Sleep Well..

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Bapu ki sune ya chachu ki

Great Confusion:
Jawahrlal Nehru said
"LAZINESS IS YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY"

Mahatma Gandhi said
"ALWAYS LOVE YOUR ENEMY"
Ab batao bapu ki sune ya chachu ki??

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Impossible to lose weight just by eating salads

It is impossible to lose weight just by eating salads. Ever looked at buffaloes?
..
..
...
They also eat only grass.

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Funny leave by Husband

Actual application for leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

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A leave letter to a headmaster

A leave letter to a headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

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Funny half day leave

Another employee applied for half-day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

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Funny Leave From H.A.L. Administration Dept

Leave From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it please grant me 10 days leave."

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Funny Leave-letter from a CDAC employee

Leave-letter from a CDAC employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

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Leave From an employee who was performing the mundan ceremony

Leave From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."

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Real and funny leave application

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave.

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Why Indian Women have Red Dot on their forehead

A foreigner asked Indian Husband,
Why Indian Women have Red Dot on their forehead ?"


Indian replied,
Because they Record everything..
Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that.......
'This conversation will be recorded for Internal Training and Quality purpose  And can Be used against you even after 30 years"

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Marriage Bureau Registration

A man went to the marriage bureau to register the date.

Office was closed. Message on Notice Board.
Office closed between 1 pm to 3 pm...
"Kindly use this time to think again"

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Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai

Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai

Wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko...


"Abe Gadhe" aur
"Oye Gadhe" ya
"Sun Gadhe"

Nahin bolti..


Isliye wo short me
"A.G. / O.G./ Suno G"
Kehti hai..

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What is Over Confidence

We See the world suffering. But still we get Married. That's Over CONFIDENCE

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What is Confidence

WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future. That's CONFIDENCE

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What is Hope

EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set
the alarms  to wake up. That's HOPE

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What is Trust

WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her. That's TRUST

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All villagers decided to pray for rain

ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only
one boy came with an umbrella. That's FAITH

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Aisa karoge toh mai nahi jaunga

3 sardar picnic par gaye

wahan jaakar yaad aaya

"PEPSI" to ghar par bhul gaye...

Decide kiya k sab se chota sardar jakar pepsi le aye...

Chhota sardar: "Mai ek shartt par jaunga
Tum dono, mere aane tak samose nahi khaoge.."

Dono ne kaha thik hai..


2 Ghante guzar gaye



4 Ghante guzar gaye



din guzar gaye
Chhota sardar nahi aya..


din guzar gaye
Chhota sardar nahi aya..

Dono ne sochha
ke ab samose kha lene chahiye..

Jaise hi samosa uthaya.. chhota sardar ped ke pichhe se nikal ke bola..

''Aisa karoge toh mai nahi jaunga...

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